Tempting Faith
by Noa-Pearl
Summary: Full summary inside. Carly left Oakdale for her job, but when she comes back, she realized a lot has changed. But not her feelings for Jack.
1. Let's run away and don't ever look back

**Tempting Faith.**

_Note: Hi people! I'm not sure how many people are reading ATWT fanfiction these days since the show has unfortunately been long gone bye now, but, us lucky Dutch people, are still enjoying this lovely soap, and I'm loving the CarJack reunion. I've loved Carly and Jack since I started watching, and now that I have time to write again, I couldn't help myself but start a story about them. I hope you all like it, and please let me know what you think of it! xx_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
>Rating: T, most of the time, I guess. If not, I'll tell you in the beginning of the chapter.<br>__Summary: After realizing Janet's carrying Jack's baby, Carly decided to leave Oakdale for a while, leaving Sage and Parker behind with Jack at the farm. When she returns to Oakdale, she unfortunately finds out that things have stayed pretty much the same. Including her feelings for Jack. _

_**Chapter 1: Let's run away and don't ever look back.**_

It hadn't been the first time Carly Tenney had run away from home. She'd been only seventeen the first time that had happened. Not wanting the life her mother was living, she was determined to not only be rich, but also be fabulous. Unfortunately for her, that hadn't completely worked out as she'd planned; being a married man's mistress wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind. Running away after that had eventually brought her Jack. But she ran again. Multiple times, that was. To Montana when Sage was born, gone with the wind when Simon was with her… And almost half a year ago, she'd ran again. After Janet had revealed it was Jack's baby she was carrying, Carly knew staying in Oakdale was the worst scenario possible. Loving Jack without his presence was awful, but loving Jack while seeing him with another woman was even worse. At that same time, she'd received an offer from a big company in Los Angeles, asking her to become their new head designer for a short time. Carly had known it was an offer she had to take. Leaving her kids behind had been tough, but modern technologies like Skype had made it a little easier to be on the other side of the country. Carly had always tried to run away and forget about the past, not looking back unless it had revolved around her children. She had never been successful in that department though.

After six months though, her contract had ended and Carly knew she had to head home again. And she was scared. She knew her kids would be as thrilled as her to be reunited again, but she was scared for the man she still loved. Carly had hoped she would've been able to live with Jack being married to another woman after such a long time, even though she knew he loved her more than Janet. She hadn't talked to him for six entire months. Sage and Paker had sometimes mentioned their father, but that were always random things. Secretly, Carly had hoped Jack would've run after her to tell her he would leave Janet. But he hadn't. And now, she knew she had to face him again. And it scared her. But she knew she couldn't run away anymore.

Standing in front of Milltown, a loud sigh escaped from her mouth. She was home again. Carly knew that she would open the front door to find an empty house; the kids were at school. She looked around for a bit, taking in the warm June air while noticing the chirping birds in the warm sun. She closed her eyes for a bit, trying to forget all of the things that scared her about her return to Oakdale before turning the key in the lock. Without a sound, the front door opened and Carly stepped in quietly. She took in the smell, that had everything it used to have except for her perfume that was usually lingering. The place was clean as usual, which actually surprised Carly because she hadn't expected the kids to be there a lot. But it looked as if she'd never left. The paper of a couple of days ago was on the table, fresh flowers were standing in the middle of the living room and Sage's nail polish was lying at three different places in the room, one of them including the floor. Carly smiled when she picked it up and placed it on the desk to her left.

She slowly walked around the house, hearing the soft clicks of her heels on the floor. It surprised her even more when she saw the answering machine of the phone beep; she pressed the play button on the machine and was even more surprised when the message started. "_Jack, it's me. I know you're at work right now but since your cellphone isn't working either I didn't know what else to do. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow at twelve, so you're welcome to come if you want to. Liberty's been asking for you, so you should go see her as well. We'll talk later, bye." _Janet's harsh voice had surprised Carly, and the message left her with more than one question. Had Jack been living here again? Did he and Janet split up after all? And wasn't Jack supposed to be at a doctor's appointment since the baby was his? Carly could feel the tension in her body rise, and knew a headache wouldn't wait too long to come. She followed her path to the kitchen, noticing two dirty plates that she put in the dishwasher and a new coffee machine.

Carly was dying to go upstairs to the bedroom, to see whether Jack had been sleeping in "their" bed, but somehow felt like she was invading his privacy. Her suitcases needed to get up though, and technically, the house was still hers. After bringing both of her suitcases upstairs, Carly couldn't beat her curiosity and opened the master bedroom as soon as she could. The smell in it immediately gave away Jack's presence in the room. His aftershave, his perfume, and his typical Jack-scent were all present in the room. Carly inhaled the scent deeply, as she looked at the bed. Sheets that were quickly placed straight again revealed the fact that Jack had been sleeping in the room as well. She fought the urge to reminisce all the memories she and Jack had made in the bed, but knew she had to get out of the bedroom in order to do so. When she got out of the room, she heard the front door close and a stern yell that said: "Parker? Sage? One of you forgot to lock the front door? Guys?"

Knowing Jack was only meters away from her gave Carly chills. What was he going to say? How was he going to respond? She quietly walked down the stairs, a small sigh of relief coming out when she realized Jack was in the kitchen. She could make a run for it… But then again, the suitcases in the hallway upstairs would probably be noticed anyway. She was on her way to the kitchen when Jack came walking out, a bottle of water in his hand.

Their eyes locked immediately and Carly could tell Jack had to tighten his grip on the bottle of water in order to not let it drop. "Carly?" She couldn't help but smile as warm feeling started spreading inside of her again at the sight of Jack. He looked amazing, as handsome as before she'd left. "Hi, Jack."

_Note: I really hope you all liked this first chapter. I know there was pretty much no dialogue, but, yeah, well, that's just the way this chapter is haha ;-)! Let me know what you think of it! xx.  
>Disclaimer: I stole the chapter's title from Katy Perry's song "Teenage Dream". <em>


	2. It came to hunt me every day

_Note: Second chapter! Thanks a lot to Reba-BrockFan for your review, I greatly appreciate it and I hope you and other readers will like this next chapter too! x. _

_**Chapter 2: It came to hunt me every day. **_

"Carly? What are you… Are you back?" Jack's confusion was obvious, but he couldn't prevent a small smile from breaking out either. Carly was standing in front of him. Her blonde shoulder length hair was loosely curled and fell a little under her shoulders, as beautiful as Jack remembered. The dark green blouse complemented her beautiful skin, and her blue eyes were sparkling. And of course, her lips. How he wanted to kiss those lips… He'd missed her. Her smile wasn't hidden either when she spoke. "Yeah, I arrived a few hours ago… I wanted to surprise the kids later, after brining my suitcases here… But I guess they'll be here at some point."

Jack ran a hand through his hair as he said: "I think we have a lot to talk about." The silence that came wasn't awkward, yet it made both adults perfectly aware of the strange situation they were in at that point. Carly cleared her throat slightly and said: "I… Uhm, I… There was a message, on the machine, from Janet.. I didn't realize you were staying here so I played it… She said she had a doctor's appointment at twelve, and that you were welcome. And that Liberty's been asking for you."

Jack nodded, still flabbergasted by the appearance of Carly in front of him. How was he going to explain all the things that had been going on after she'd left? He wasn't even sure if he was able to explain to himself what had happened in the past few months. Jack was about to speak when Carly said: "I guess I should leave for now. I… Well, I guess we have to talk later about me sleeping here, and stuff.. I'll come back in an hour , when the kids get home."

Carly grabbed her purse and wanted to leave, trying not to give into her longing for Jack and even his presence. She wanted to pretend everything was fine, hug him, and for him to welcome her home, in their home. But she knew that wasn't going to happen. She was almost touching the doorknob when she heard Jack talk. "You don't have to leave, Carly. I'm just… So surprised you're back. You could've called, let us know you were coming back…"

A small smile appeared on Carly's face. It felt good to know Jack was so confused about her return; she knew it had to do with his feelings for her, she could feel it. His face had never stopped hunting her. He had been on her mind every single day, and in her dreams more than once. It felt nice to know that at least she had still an effect on him. But when she was honest, she knew that she always had had that. "I just didn't know who to call. Besides, I figured everyone would be busy and I knew it wouldn't matter that much anyway."

"It would've mattered to me." Jack was as surprised as Carly that he'd actually spoken the words he'd been thinking. He stepped a little closer to her and said: "I've missed you, Carly. There are so many things I wish we'd talked about before you left."

Carly briefly closed her eyes when she smelled Jack's aftershave and a scent that could only be described as a typical Jack scent. "Jack… Let's not do this now. I want to take care of my stuff here, see the kids, enjoy their company… We'll talk later. Just explain to me… Why are you sleeping here?"

An ironic laugh escaped from Jack's mouth before he said: "Do you think it's possible for me to answer that question without talking about everything we should talk about?" Carly shrugged. "Okay, we'll do that later then. I'm going to unpack now, and I'm sure the kids will be back after that… We should talk later, tonight, when the kids are sleeping, okay?"

The soft expression on Carly's face was something Jack couldn't resist, especially not combined with her beautiful lips curved into a small smile and her blue eyes that were filled with something Jack couldn't exactly describe; he only knew it included love. He didn't like her proposal, but knew he couldn't say anything but yes. That's why he nodded. "If that's what you want, okay. I'll leave now, then… I'll buy some stuff at the grocery store, so you can eat with the kids tonight."

"You'll stay, right? I'm sure Sage and Parker will love that." Carly couldn't help but ask him that. She didn't want him to feel excluded, and if she was honest, she knew she wanted him there. She wanted Jack everywhere she was. "If you want to, of course. I'll be back in a bit."

Carly nodded and was about to turn around, not knowing how to make an appropriate goodbye as she heard Jack say: "I'm happy you're back home, Carly." He smiled at her, and Carly smiled back. "Me, too."

About forty-five minutes later, Carly was upstairs in her bedroom, that was now Jack's bedroom as well. She thought. Jack wasn't back yet, and she had to admit that she was a little grateful for that. When she saw him before, all she'd really wanted was to hold him, and kiss him. She had a feeling he'd wanted that too, but she didn't have a clue of how he and Janet were now standing in their relationship. He would now probably be back around the same time as Sage and Parker, which meant that there would probably not be that many uncomfortable moments until they had the opportunity to talk again. While changing her clothes, that were getting a bit uncomfortable and probably smelly as well since she'd been flying in them as well, she thought about Sage and Parker. She was so happy to see them again. Carly was happy to be home. For now, at least.

Jack rushed through the front door, knowing Sage and Parker would be home in ten minutes and probably dying for some food. He put his groceries on the couch while calling out for Carly. He looked in the kitchen, but she wasn't there either. "Carly?" He was afraid she'd left, and walked upstairs, seeing if she was perhaps in the bathroom. Another empty room that was, and without thinking about knocking, he walked into the bedroom. What he saw made his heart skip a beat. Carly wasn't facing him, but what he saw was something he knew he could never resist. She was wearing a short black skirt, her tights not yet under it, showing off her slender legs. Her shirt wasn't yet on either, which made him see her creamy white skin. She was wearing a bra, but the sight of the shoulders he'd kissed more than a thousand times already aroused him more than he wished it did.

Temptation got the best of him as he walked over to Carly, and lightly placed his hand on her shoulder. Carly jumped when she felt someone touching him, but she knew it was Jack. She closed her eyes when she heard him say: "Carly… You're so beautiful." His hand followed the line of her arm, and ended on her hip. "Jack, we shouldn't do this." Memories from what had happened before she'd left floated through Carly's mind. Jack's broken promises had hurt her so bad and it scared her that she didn't knew what was going on with him and Janet right now. "I can't resist, Carly, I… I've missed you so much." He turned her around and touched her lips with his other hand. Their mouths moved closer, both giving in to their feelings inside. Their lips were almost touching when both heard the front door open and two kids yell: "Dad? We're home!"

_Note: Soo, what did you think of this? I hope you liked it! x.  
>Disclaimer: The chapter's title is a sentence from a song called "Lover", from a Dutch singer called Birgit. <em>


	3. All I see's the past where I have left

_Note: Hi dear readers! Thanks very much for reading this story, and a very special thanks to Reba-BrockFan, sweetymelly25 and frandrescherrules for reviewing, I appreciate it so much! I hope this chapter lives up to your expextations and that you like it! xx. _

_**Chapter 3: All I see's the past where I have left our destiny. **_

Sage and Parker's voices made Carly pull back immediately, breaking contact with Jack and immediately made her feel the loss of his warmth. She licked her lips before she softly said: "You should go downstairs, Jack. I'll be there in a second. You can prepare them." She tried to joke a little, but the tension was still around them. Jack nodded, not knowing what to say, before he turned around and walked down the stairs.

Jack tried to keep his face straight and act like his usual self as he walked down the stairs and said: "Hey guys! How was school?"

Sage hurried herself to her father to give him a hug while she said: "It was great dad, we learned all about the animal kingdom today! I think I wanna be a vet dad, I love animals so much!" Jack chuckled, knowing Sage's future occupation was changing almost daily. "That sounds great, honey, I'm glad you enjoyed it that much. And you, Parker?"

Parker shrugged. "Usual. It's strange, without Liberty. I wish she could be there these last weeks." When Parker brought up Liberty's name, Jack suddenly thought about Janet's voicemail message again, realizing he had to call her back later. He broke the hug with his daughter while he walked over to Parker. "I can understand, but you know you can always see her after school. And hopefully she will be there with graduation." Parker nodded, not completely satisfied with his father's answer, but knowing there wasn't anything else to be said.

Both Sage and Parker were about to get upstairs when Jack cleared his throat and said: "Kids, I have to tell you something, that will hopefully make both of you a little happier… I've got a surprise!"

Sage's enthusiasm was visible immediately, but Parker's eyebrow shot up, not sure what to expect. Jack smiled and said: "I know you'll both be happy."

At that same moment, Carly came walking down the stairs. While Jack mainly looked at her figure and admired her beauty, Sage was screaming out in delight to her mother while Parker's surprised but happy look was visible as well. "Mommy you're back!" Carly set food on the wooden floor and within a second, Sage was there to jump in her mother's arms. "Are you gonna stay, mom? I'm so happy you're here!"

Carly kissed her daughter's hair while holding her tight. "I'm planning on doing so, baby. My job's finished, I'm home again." Sage let go of her mother with a huge smile plastered on her face. It was then Parker's turn to walk over to his mother and hug her. "I'm glad you're home, mom. Why didn't you tell us you'd be back today?" Carly smiled. "Ah, well, I… I just figured I'd be here, surprise you guys a little."

Jack watched in awe to the little reunion he saw in front of him. It made him feel so good to see his children happy with their mother's return. He loved it that being like this felt like having their family back together for a short while. Jack nevertheless couldn't wait to talk to Carly later that evening. He knew she had tons of questions about him living in Milltown, about Janet… In return, there were plenty of things he wanted to know about her departure six months ago.

It wasn't until almost five hours later, when it was ten in the evening, that Jack and Carly were alone again. Jack was in the kitchen, fixing both of them drinks, while Carly was sitting on the couch, waiting for him. She got slightly nervous. She knew she wasn't the only one with questions, and she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to answer Jack's. Carly didn't have too much time to think about that though; Jack got back quickly. He sat down next to Carly on the couch, not too close, knowing her presence would affect him probably more than he would want at that point. He handed a cup of tea to Carly as he said: "So… You're okay with talking now?"

"You probably mean, asking each other questions?" The slight sarcasm in her voice confused Jack, but he could tell from the look on her face she was just as eager for answers as him. That was why he said: "Ask me a question, then."

Carly's eyes focused on Jack's and she licked her lips before she said: "Okay. Why are you living here, and not with Janet on the farm?"

Jack had expected that question and tried to come up with the best possible answer. For now that was, at least. "Janet and I have been having some… Issues. I decided I should live here, with the kids, so we could both figure out if being together is really the best for both of us."

"And how long have you been trying to figure that out?" "Did I tell you I'd answer a second question?" Carly couldn't help but chuckle about his comment, and said: "Okay, I'm sorry. Your turn. Ask me a question." Both were aware of the fact that it felt like they were playing a simple, stupid game. In fact though, they knew the questions that were going to be asked were far from game material and more serious than both wanted to admit.

"Why did you leave, Carly? And don't tell me it's because of the job 'cause you and I both know there's more to it." And that was where the seriousness began. Carly sighed and slightly nervous, she looked away from him. Jack gently held her chin and turned her back to face him. "Jack… You really want to bring all that up again? I'm home now. We just have to figure out how we're both going to live her again while you're married to Janet." It sounded like it was the most normal thing on earth, having a married man who happened to be her ex-husband that she still loved sleeping on her couch. Jack shook his head. "Tell me."

"God, Jack… What did you expect of me? You… You told me you loved me, was going to be with me again… And hours later, you pretend as if that had never happened. What was I supposed to do? I was stuck in a past where you loved me, cherished me, wanted to be with me… Stuck in some place that was never going to be my present. I had to go, Jack. Seeing you with Janet after everything you had said was something I couldn't bear." She was trying hard not to show her emotions, but Carly knew they would be visible to Jack anyway. Carly had tried to leave her feelings for Jack in the past. Their future together was not ever going to happen; he was still with Janet. Jack wanted to take her hand but she pulled away.

"Carly… I never wanted hurt you.." Carly interrupted him and said: "I know that, but you did. Please, just… We should not talk about this anymore. You and Janet are together, we are not. Next question, please."

Jack sighed. If he was honest to himself, he knew he wanted to be with Carly. But he would be pulling the same trick over again; loving her while being married to another woman. He softly said: "Your turn for a question, Carly."

Both felt like two stupid teenagers, asking each other questions to find out how the other felt. Carly wasn't able to stop herself and said something she immediately regretted saying. "Would you leave Janet now if I told you I loved you, Jack?"

_Note: I hope you liked it, please let me know! xx.  
>Disclaimer: The song is called "I Guess I Loved You". It's a very, very beautiful ballad from singer Lara Fabian. <em>


	4. My head speaks a language, I don t

_Note: Hi guys! Forth chapter´s here. I hope you like it as well! xx. _

_**Chapter 4: My head speaks a language, I don't understand.**_

Her question completely caught Jack off-guard and he almost chocked in the sip he was taking of his drink. "What?" Carly immediately apologized. "I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have asked that, it slipped. Forget I asked it. We should… We should stop this, go to bed. You go and sleep in our.. My bed, I'll take the couch."

Carly got up and wanted to walk to the kitchen when Jack grabbed her arm. "No, wait, Carly. You can't ask me that question and just walk away." She wanted to shake his grip off of her but wasn't able to do so. They were now facing each other as she said: "Just forget it, Jack. We'll find a way to make this work, we did so before."

"What if I don't want to forget it, Carly?" There was silence for a moment, causing both of the adults to get caught up in the sparks that had been there all night. Jack pulled her a little closer and said: "Carly… I'm living here because my relationship with Janet is not working. She was sure it had to do with your presence, but even without you being in Oakdale you were always in between us. My head tells me that you and I can't do this again, but my heart… Carly, my heart wants to be with you. For real. It has always been with you, even when you were not there. I want us, to be together."

Tears fell from Carly's face. "You've said that before, Jack.. And look what happened. Janet needed you, and you stayed. I don't want that to happen again, I can't handle that."

"That won't happen again, Carly."

"Are you sure? Jack… You're a good man. I know you want to work things out with Janet, 'cause that's who you are." Carly wanted to continue, but Jack interrupted her. Not with words, but with his touch. His hand on her cheek made her knees feel weak immediately. Her head stopped thinking wisely and her hand in response moved to his cheek, caressing his skin with his thumb. He wiped away the tears she had been crying before he whispered: "I really love you, Carly. You should never doubt that." "I know." The volume of her voice was barely above a whisper. They were drawn to each other without realizing they were moving, and when their lips touched both let out a small sigh. Their mouths opened at the same time, causing their tongues to entangle and their hands to move to other parts of the other. Carly broke their kiss after several seconds. Her teary eyes were the first thing Jack noticed. His hand brushed her hair from her cheek as he said: "Don't cry, baby." "Jack… Don't you think this is insane? I've been gone, I came back, and it feels like we're back to the start. You're not thinking with your head right now. You really gonna leave Janet in this situation? Liberty's treatments are just finished, you can finally become a normal family again… Won't you blame yourself for not even trying that after being with me for two months and going crazy over all the flaws I have?"

Carly was finally able to free herself from his grip, and wasn't planning on waiting for his answer. She could tell he was taken aback by her comments and after looking at him for a split second, she walked upstairs. Jack didn't even try to call her name and get her back; he knew she wouldn't.

Twenty minutes later, Jack was still sitting on the couch, trying to determine what his thoughts were about Carly's previous comments. Would he regret not trying to be with Janet and Liberty when there wouldn't be such a stressful environment? Jack couldn't tell. He tried to clear his mind, think with his head instead of his heart, but it was not making any sense. He'd loved Janet. What happened that made all of it fade so soon? Was his love for Janet just a replacement for the love for Carly he hadn't been able to show? All he knew at this point, was that he loved Carly, with all his heart. That was the only thing that was very clear to him now.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you're here Jack, I didn't expect you to come considering the fact you never called me back." Janet's dislike of his actions were obvious shining through her words. "I'm sorry Janet, it was so hectic yesterday, I totally forgot." "You forgot this appointment? You know how important it is! What could possibly be so hectic that was so important that made you forget Liberty's appointment for her blood results? " Janet was getting angry and Jack felt stupid for saying he'd forgot.<p>

"I'm sorry, Janet. Let's talk about this after Liberty's appointment." He obviously didn't want to tell Janet Carly was back. He knew it would make her explode, and at this point, he knew all she should worry about were the results of Liberty's blood test. It was the last step in the determination of Liberty's healing process; was her blood good enough to get her off of any kinds of medication for good? If the results were good, it would mean that Liberty would officially be cured from cancer; a gift from God. Janet however was about to reply, but at that same moment, Liberty came back from the bathroom, and Jack was glad Janet was able to keep her anger to herself.

"You're ready to go in baby?" Janet caressed her daughters cheek briefly before Liberty took a deep breath and said: "Let's go."

* * *

><p>An hour later, when all three were back at the farm, it was obvious Janet wanted an immediate answer from Jack about her question earlier. "Honey, let's just enjoy this day. Liberty's officially cancer free. We should go out, get cake, celebrate." Jack knew he wanted to avoid the subject Carly. It would made Janet explode, for sure. She didn't buy his trick though.<p>

"Jack, Liberty's on her way to Al's to see Parker and you know that. What the hell is going on? You've been acting even stranger that you have been the last few weeks. I thought we were getting our relation on the road again. We're doing better, aren't we?"

Janet's eyes told Jack that she was almost pleading for him to answer her question with yes. But Jack just couldn't. That's when Janet firmly said: "Jack, what happened yesterday?"

Jack sighed. Loving Carly was easy. Telling Janet Carly was actually back in Oakdale was already difficult. He couldn't describe the lump he felt in his throat at the thought of telling Janet he did love Carly more than anyone. He lightly scraped his throat as he said: "Janet… Carly's back in Oakdale."

_Disclaimer and Note: You recognized the chapter´s song? Haha, it´s Feel from the lovely Robbie Williams! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know! xx. _


	5. I walk with your shadow

_**Chapter 5: I walk with your shadow. **_

"What did you just say?" Janet looked as if she was one fire. Jack knew he should expect that, but he knew as well that he couldn't possibly be prepared for the outburst that was about to come.

"Carly… She finished up business in New York, and she's back in Oakdale again." Jack didn't know what else to say about it; it had been Carly's homecoming, seeing her again, being in the same room with her again, that had distracted him enough to forget about Liberty's appointment. Janet, however, immediately thought of something else. "Oh, so, Carly didn't tell you about my call? That's just absolutely great, Jack. That woman is back and you immediately forget all about us?"

"Stop it, Janet. Don't you dare say that. It's far from Carly's fault that I forgot to call you back."

"Yeah, go ahead and defend her. That's what you always do."

Jack sighed out loud; he knew Janet wouldn't be reasonable whenever it came to something involving Carly. "Janet, listen to me. Carly told me the minute I got in the house about your call. How was she supposed to know I was sleeping in Milltown? She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her."

"So now you're living in Milltown, with Carly."

Janet's annoyed and sarcastic voice made Jack sigh again and he threw up his hands in frustration. "Janet, please! She just got back, we haven't discussed anything about that at all! What do you want me to do? Come and move back in here just because you don't want me to be in the same room with Carly?"

"I don't even want you to breathe the same air as her." Despite the serious topic their discussion had, Janet's somewhat funny comment lightened Jack's mood a bit. As Janet sat down on a chair near the kitchen table he said: "We both know Carly being here is not gonna make the situation between the two of us any better. But it's not her fault we ended up where we are right now."

"And where exactly are we then right now?"

"I have no clue." That answer almost said enough for Jack though. For the last few weeks, he had been in a position in which he'd rather move away from Janet than trying to reconcile with her. What did that say about his willpower to make things right in their marriage? And Carly hadn't even been back then. Now that she was in Oakdale as well, the temptation of her being so close would be enormous. He loved Carly, and he was fully aware of that. He knew he and Janet had no future. But the only thing that kept nagging in his head was what Carly had said to him as well. What if the situation would change now that Liberty was officially cured? Would it take off pressure of the relationship between him and Janet? What if things would change so drastic? Would he forgive himself if he had never given that a chance?

In the back of his head, Jack knew he only wanted Carly. But he felt so awful about that. "Janet, I'm gonna go. I have to get back to the station. I'll call you later, okay?"

* * *

><p>Instead of heading to the station, Jack went to the lake and sat down in the grass where the old boathouse had been. Where he'd told Carly he wanted to be with her and leave Janet. Before Liberty got sick. He threw some small stones into the water and looked at the circles that formed in the water while he thought about Carly. Even when she wasn't around, he knew she was the one that was always in his mind when he was thinking about his future. When he thought about spending the rest of his life with Janet, Carly was the next thing on his mind. He couldn't imagine a future without Carly, and not only because she was the mother of his kids. A future without Janet, however, didn't seem as unbearable as one without Carly, even though that sounded horrible. Carly was always around him, like his shadow. No matter how far they were apart, it always felt as if she was right next to him, whether he liked it or not.<p>

His mind started running, to all the beautiful and horrible things they'd gone through together. Their fights. Their break-ups. The make-ups. The beautiful memories easily defeated the bad ones. Yes, she'd been manipulating sometimes. She'd been impulsive more than he wished for. She'd made mistakes, hundreds of them. And yet she'd never able to make him hate her. Not when she'd used Hal for a trust fund. Not when she'd used Brad to win him back. Not when she'd left Oakdale to be with Simon. Not even when she'd faked a horrible disease so he'd marry her. Hating Carly was something he would never be able to do.

"Hey stranger."

When Jack moved his face to the right, he could see a pair of shoes. He looked up, but without looking, he'd already known it was Carly standing next to him. He didn't get a chance to respond as she sat down next to him and said: "What are you doing out here?"

"Just thinking."

"Aha." Carly knew he was thinking about something involving her. Going to the place where the boat house used to be wasn't a place either one of them would go if they had to think about anything else but the other. "So how's that thinking going so far?"

"Just results in me having to think more." Carly chuckled after Jack's remark and said: "Does me being back in Oakdale give you more to think about too?"

"Obviously." Jack didn't seem to be in a mood for talking, and for a second, Carly thought about walking away. Instead, she scooted over a little closer to Jack and let her head rest on his shoulder. She could feel his first response was one of tense, but after not even a few seconds, he relaxed. Carly then said: "It gives me a lot to think about too."

Jack only nodded as he, almost out of routine, moved his arm around Carly. For minutes, they just sat there. Both thinking, not talking. But together.

_Disclaimer: The chapter's title is from John Mayer's "Back To You". Love that guy!  
><em>_Note: I'm so sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've been on holiday and, well, life just got in the way! Thanks for all the sweet reviews thus far, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you. Please tell me what you think of it! XX._


	6. Just say there's nothing holding you

_Note: Hi all! First of all I really, really want to apolgize for being such a lousy writer lately.. I haven't been updating in forever and I'm so sorry about that. University's just gettig in the way... I hope this chapter will make up a little bit for all the wait. I know it's not amazing, but I still hope you'll enjoy it! Big big big hug to those who reviewed, it means a lot to me and I appreciate it so much! xx._

_**6. Just say there's nothing holding you back.**_

"I told Janet you're back." It was the first spoken thing in minutes. Jack knew it wasn't something that would make Carly happy to hear, but he was sure she at least appreciated him telling her that.

"Oh, you did… So what did she say?" Carly shook Jack's arm off of her lightly and looked at him. She wished there wasn't a Janet in his life.

Jack shrugged. "Let's not talk about that… Wasn't too much fun. She asked me where her relationship with me was right now. I told her I didn't know. That was what I was thinking about."

"Ah. Sorry I interrupted. Guess I should get going then, don't want to interfere in your thinking process." She wanted to get up when Jack started to laugh. Carly felt a little offended and said: "What? Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry, Carly. It's just.. It sounds so silly, interfering in my thinking process. It's not like it has had any result so far."

Carly smiled. "If you're thinking about what I think you're thinking about, you won't just make up your mind after sitting somewhere and think."

"I know what I want, Carly. I… I'm just not so sure how to deal with everything around it. I want to be with you. You, me, Sage, Parker, JJ when he's home… That's how things are supposed to be, we both know that."

Jack's hand fell over Carly's before Carly said: "I don't want to be mean here, Jack, but the only thing that makes this so hard for you is that you're afraid of making a big decision. But it only makes everything worse. You make Janet feel awful 'cause she has no idea of where exactly you guys are heading, you're making yourself miserable 'cause you're not happy with the way things are going. And I won't even mention how you make me feel.."

"I feel so bad about that. You….. I just, I wasn't even prepared for you coming back, Carly. It was such a surprise. I'm happy you're back. You know I am. But it's always confusing to."

"Aren't I always?" The couple laughed for a bit and pretty quick afterwards, Carly decided it was time for her to leave. "I'm gonna go, Jack. I'm home tonight, with the kids. You're always welcome if you feel like coming over…"

Jack nodded and for a split second, there was a slight uncomfortable feeling between the both of them. Jack decided not to pay attention to it though and moved himself so he could embrace Carly. She gave in, enjoying his warmth and closeness for a minute. Both felt the urge to touch, to kiss… Yet they both didn't. Carly left without a word after their embrace, not knowing what else to say or to do. She just hoped Jack would come over that evening. Not even to be with her, but just to be altogether again. Their family was what came first for both of them.

A few hours later, however, Carly sat alone in front of her television. JJ had an important test that next day and had decided to go to bed early, while Parker had begged his mother to go and see Liberty for a while. And Sage had to go to school as well that next day. That was how Carly had ended up on her own at ten thirty that evening, watching a stupid game show that was far from interesting. She had given up on Jack coming over a while ago, which made it even more surprising when the doorbell rang. A quick question immediately rose; why would Jack ring the bell? Carly nevertheless opened the door, expecting Jack in front of it. The surprise was even bigger then when she found Janet in front of it. Looking pissed.

"Janet. Hi. I… I didn't expect to see you here."

"Bet you didn't. Where's Jack? I know he's here so don't bother making any excuses."

Janet was about to walk in when Carly stepped aside and blocked her way. She hadn't planned on being mean to the woman but her irritation came boiling up in seconds while seeing Janet in front of her. "Janet, he's not here. Sage and JJ are asleep and I don't want you to wake them up with your lousy accusations. Believe me, I would've let you in if he was here. I thought he was with you at the farm. Now move, I'm not in the mood to see you."

"What, you're upset he's not here with you tonight? Get a life, Carly. You just got back and you expect him to be serving you any time of the day? You're not a goddess, Carly."

"The only reason you're being so pissed at me is because you know that what you're saying is actually true, Janet. He does want to be here, with me and the kids. Now go before I say things I'm going to regret."

Carly shove the door into Janet's face, hoping Janet was smart enough to just walk away as well. It was a relief to know that Jack wasn't spending the evening with Janet. What did bother her though was the fact that Jack wasn't with her either. Where could he be? Carly wouldn't believe that he had rented an hotel room just to think. Maybe he was at the police station? She fought the urge to text him; she wanted to know so bad what he was doing. Funny how she didn't even actually had the right to any of those things. She was actually nothing to him. She wasn't his wife. Perhaps she wasn't even his friend anymore. All she basically was, was the mother of his children.

She knew better than that; she knew she meant more to Jack than any other woman. But at this point, she felt like she was nothing. And Carly hated feeling she meant nothing.

_Disclaimer: That little chapter title's from Snow Patrol's Just Say Yes. Just so you know... ;)  
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